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Coaching in the wild: Help managers coach when no one’s watching

Coaching moments happen in Slack, 1:1s and team check-ins. Here’s how to help managers lead better day-to-day.

An employee is being coached virtually by his manager, who appears on his laptop screen.An employee is being coached virtually by his manager, who appears on his laptop screen.

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Insights from Ellen Raim, Founder of People MatterWe focus more on solving than preventing People problems.

The most effective coaching happens mid-project, mid-conflict and mid-deadline.

It’s the manager who pauses a sprint review to ask the right question. The one who helps someone reframe a challenge instead of solving it. The one who turns a rushed Slack update into a moment of reflection.

This kind of coaching isn’t scheduled. It’s embedded. And for most teams, it’s the gap between knowing how to coach and actually doing it.

Here’s how to help managers build better coaching habits, without adding complexity to their already full plates.

Focus on behavior, not theory

Most managers have been through the playbooks. They’ve seen the models. What they need is clarity on what effective coaching looks like in the moments that matter.

Coaching behavior shows up as:

  • Prompting reflection instead of jumping to solutions
  • Asking clarifying questions when direction is unclear
  • Reframing feedback to focus on actions, not assumptions
  • Giving real-time guidance during everyday work—not after it’s over

These are the things teams notice. And the things they remember.

Coaching muscle builds through repetition

Managers don’t need more information. They need more reps. Skill-building sticks when it happens in real situations, with real stakes.

The best signals you’ll see:

  • A manager pauses before giving advice and asks what the person has already tried
  • Feedback conversations shift from generic praise to behavior-specific input
  • 1:1s start including skill reflection alongside status updates

Coaching becomes natural when it’s part of the rhythm, not something added on.

Give them tools that match how they work

Structured programs help managers understand coaching. But nudges, prompts, and live examples help them do it.

Support in ways that fit their flow:

  • Drop-in Slack reminders tied to common scenarios
  • 1:1 templates with quick coaching questions (“What would you do differently next time?”)
  • Peer examples of how leaders in your org handled feedback well

Most managers want to be better coaches. They just need help recognizing the moment and knowing what to say.

Normalize feedback that’s candid and continuous

Coaching thrives in teams where feedback is both expected and safe. Make it easier for managers to:

  • Catch small wins in real time
  • Course-correct without creating defensiveness
  • Follow up on development goals between review cycles

Consistency matters more than perfection. Teams learn to expect feedback when they see it modeled often—and when it leads to clear action.

Good managers give direction. Great ones build capability.

The goal isn’t to turn every manager into a professional coach. It’s to help them recognize when someone needs clarity, reflection, or redirection—and respond with intention.

The more natural coaching becomes, the more confident teams grow. And the more performance improves without extra oversight.

Want to reinforce coaching through simulations or create manager prompts that spark better conversations? Let’s build it.

Learn live. Adapt faster.

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