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Why your managers need to practice difficult conversations

Managers who prepare in advance approach difficult conversations with greater confidence, clarity and a focus on solutions.

A man and a woman are working together on something on a laptop, seated near a window.A man and a woman are working together on something on a laptop, seated near a window.

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Insights from Ellen Raim, Founder of People MatterWe focus more on solving than preventing People problems.

Difficult conversations are a core part of leadership. Whether addressing performance, behavior, conflict or personal matters, managers must handle difficult conversations with confidence, clarity and emotional intelligence.

The best way to improve? Practice.

Practicing difficult conversations makes managers better

Managers who prepare in advance approach difficult conversations with greater confidence, clarity and a focus on solutions. Let’s take a look at the benefits of practice:

😥 Practice reduces anxiety + builds confidenceHigh-stakes discussions can be stressful. Practicing difficult conversations in a safe setting helps managers feel more prepared and composed when the actual conversation happens.

💬 Practice improves conversation clarity + structureRehearsing difficult conversations allows managers to refine their message so it remains clear and focused. A refined message helps keep the conversation on track and prevents it from becoming reactive.

💓 Practice sharpens emotional awarenessPracticing with an AI simulator, peer, mentor or coach improves awareness of tone, body language and emotional cues. This leads to more thoughtful and effective communication.

🩹 Practice keeps discussions solution-focusedA practice session helps managers shift focus from identifying problems to working toward solutions. This approach encourages collaboration rather than confrontation.

🤪 Practice prepares managers for a variety of employee reactionsEmployees may respond defensively, disengage or show strong emotions. Role-playing different reactions helps managers develop strategies to keep the conversation productive.

Best practices for practicing difficult conversations

A structured approach helps managers refine their communication, stay composed and handle conversations more effectively. Here are some best practices for practicing difficult conversations:

📝 Use a structured framework
A consistent approach to difficult conversations improves effectiveness:

  • State the purpose: Be clear about why the conversation is happening and what needs to be achieved.
  • Describe the issue objectively: Use facts rather than assumptions or emotions.
  • Acknowledge the employee’s perspective: Encourage dialogue and listen actively.
  • Collaborate on solutions: Work together on next steps and expectations.
  • Summarize + follow up: Confirm alignment on actions and accountability.

🎭 Role-play with a trusted partnerPracticing with an AI simulator, mentor, peer or coach allows managers to receive feedback. Simulating different employee responses (like confusion, frustration or defensiveness) helps refine their approach in real time.

🎥 Record + review
Recording practice sessions provides insights into tone, body language and phrasing. Self-assessment helps managers identify areas for improvement.

🌎 Use real-world scenarios
Using relevant examples (while maintaining confidentiality) makes practice more effective. Including emotionally charged situations in practice sessions helps managers stay composed and professional.

🛠️ Seek feedback + adjust
After practicing difficult conversations, managers should gather feedback on tone, wording and approach. Small refinements can improve clarity and effectiveness.

📚 Leverage professional development resources
AI simulations, workshops and structured training programs (like those offered by Electives!) offer managers a chance to practice with guidance from experienced professionals.

Practicing difficult conversations isn’t about memorizing a script. It’s about building confidence, structure and emotional intelligence to navigate difficult conversations effectively. When managers take time to prepare, they create more constructive discussions that lead to better outcomes for employees and the organization.

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